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My husband and I have what he calls Olympic sex. He does not act out of conviction, but acts out of what is convenient for himself. There are many life and political lessons incorporated in it. Ang galing! P5 P Dedicated to my sons Archie and A.
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Para mapatunayan kong patay na patay ako sayo. At pumunta nga sina Boy and Girl sa sementeryo para mag-ghost hunting. Habang naglalakad sila sa pinakamadilim na bahagi ng sementeryo, biglang napasigaw si Boy. Na mahal kita. Pedicab ka ba? Kili-kili ka ba? Malapit ka kasi sa puso ko. Ang love ay parang bayad sa jeep. Minsan hindi nasusuklian. Ang sabi nila "An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Para malaman mo na type kita. Gusto kitang kasuhan ng trespassing.
Basta- basta ka na lang pumapasok sa puso ko. Empleyado ka ba? Empleyado rin ako. Pwede tayong magkaroon ng union.
Ang relasyon ay parang gubat. Madalas may ahas. The campaign period has begun. All kinds of characters want to run for public office. We, the 52 million Filipino voters, are bored with their antics. We are aghast at their resumes. Some of them are not even high school graduates. They resort to all kinds of cheap gimmickry, hoping to provide entertainment for free. They should not be called candidates; they should be called clowns. In the Philippines, politics is dominated Fortunately, we are at the cusp of a new ominous wave of change in the political beach.
This wave is called the social media. In the Philippines, nobody knows how to control or manage social media.
Rich clowns used to bribe press and broadcast journalists so that they could gain added illegal advantage over their competitors. But now, the rich clowns are beginning to discover that it is not possible to bribe the leaders, much less, all the netizens in cyberspace. The ideal UP student always gives the world a shock.
I ask each one of you to give the mindless political candidates a shock, by In terms of social network use, the Philippines is ranked among the top countries.
This could be the precursor of the participatory democracy of the future. Facebook is the premier social media service in the world. Twitter is an online YouTube provides a forum for the distribution of video content, particularly eyewitness features of political protests. Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube are the so-called big three social media services. These services enable large numbers of people to be easily and inexpensively contacted via a variety of services.
Social media lowers traditional socio- economic The power of the rich politicians becomes more porous and the political warlords have less control. It has been said that text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and the Internet have given rise to a reservoir of political energy.
Digital technologies enforce the formation and activities of civil society groups: The ideal UP student is not interesting per se. What is interesting is what the ideal student does with his life after graduation from UP.
As a rule, any UP graduate will always be characterized by academic excellence and by the courage to take social justice to the next level. If you are to serve your nation, I am here to testify that it will be a rough, contentious, and spirit-crushing journey.
But as a true UP graduate, I insist that I This role is to stand as one of gazillion bricks in the cathedral of governance. No one will remember me if I suddenly drop dead tomorrow.
But generations after you and me, would be able to put behind them the culture of corruption, and build a new shining nation with leaders who are neither dazzled by the material world, nor confused about their purpose in life.
Hence, I have risen from my sickbed to Use social media during this three-month campaign period to ensure that our people shall be led to choose deserving national leaders. Allow me to make some recommendations on how to weaponize social media against the corrupt, the clueless, and the clowns.
I am paraphrasing from an article in the Net issued by Craft Media Digital and written by Brian Donahue. Weaponize social media during the campaign by providing content that not only informs, but also entertains and motivates.
You need to develop skills in creative design, emotionally riveting visuals, and content that inspires action. We can not weaponize by simply issuing a statement, a newsletter, or a Facebook post.
We need to enlist the work of more graphic designers, creative writers, videographers, Weaponize social media during the campaign by embracing targeted messaging strategies.
You cannot rely on single-issue national messaging. You have to send custom messages to specific audiences online. Hook up with math students in the Diliman campus. Ask our math scholars to build algorithms for matching data.
This For example, refer to Facebook OpenGraph. Weaponize social media during the political campaign by delivering content so engaging that individual netizens will be motivated to share it. I see in the current campaign that the most egregious error of the candidates is that they treat social media as if it were TV or radio, where they simply transfer The strength of the web is information sharing among social netizens.
Weaponize social media in the political campaign by accepting that the future of political warfare will take place online. Social media should be used as a showcase for intangible movement or energy, and a medium of information to motivate people to vote for or against a particular candidate. Conclusion I share one unbreakable linkage with you. At one time I was your age and like all UP students, I wanted Maybe I have. But the world also changed me.
Now I am old enough to have seen the world and have all my illusions shattered. Am I disillusioned? No, because as the poet said: Though much is taken, much abides; and though We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Barring public demand, any person who pursues the presidency out of personal ambition must be suffering from a basic genetic defect. In a magazine interview. I do not subscribe to the school of thought that I am leading the presidential polls because of my beautiful leg After topping most presidential surveys in First you say that I have a brilliant resume and an But then you propose that I should not run for president, but only for vice- president.
Clearly, your conclusion does not follow your own premise. And you justify this illogic by claiming that I would be cheated by my rivals as a presidential candidate, so I should settle for becoming a vice-presidential candidate instead.
Sir, if the rest of humankind had adopted your line of thinking, we would never have Everest, or learned to fly. For in all these daring enterprises, people who should have known better said it could not be done. When I went to the Commission on Immigration and Deportation to fight graft and corruption, the cynics also said it could not be done. Why did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Because it is there.
Why am I Because it is here! During an open forum hosted by the Association of International College Women, who gave her a standing ovation.
You have the obligation to show respect and courtesy to To an alien criminal suspect who raised his voice to interrupt her during a press conference. The fixer is a person who nominally looks like a human being.
But he specializes in creating misery for others, in order that he can offer to fix it for a fee. Explaining to the press why she banned fixers at Commission on Immigration and Deportation and ordered their mass arrest.
Ano ang pinagkapareho ng sperm at ng mga pulitiko? Pareho silang may one in a million chance na maging totoong tao. The cabinet is afflicted with a dreaded disease. It is known as logorrhea, or incoherent talking. After then President Corazon Aquino announced a program of measures to improve cabinet performance and cut costs, most of which had been proposed earlier by Miriam.
We are trapped in a political Tower of Babel. Our national leaders are accursed by glossolalia, or talking in different When the Senate first began to oppose her alien legalization program when she was Immigration Commissioner.
I shall expect the landlords to cooperate with the agrarian reform program. Some of them are devotees to a cult of self- praise. I refused to join that hallelujah chorus! I feel like Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom. Entering Congress for her first confirmation hearing as Secretary of Agrarian Reform.
I was accused of almost every crime At malapit na rin kaming dumating doon. Explaining why confirmations hearings could be oppressive. Head-bashing is the best strategy. Sometimes I have to splatter their brains on the pavement. On the best way to fight graft.
When the government employee is poor and he works in a corrupt agency, he can resist everything except temptation. At a student convocation at the University of the Philippines. They reduce legislation to the level of the ludicrous. Holdap ito! Akin na ang pera mo! Hindi mo ba ako nakikilala? Isa akong congressman!
Kung ganoon, akin na ang pera namin! My public life closely resembles the popular science-fiction trilogy on Although I am a definite underdog, I am not afraid of those corrupt superstars. Thus, the first chapter of my life should be entitled "Star Wars.
They refused to confirm me in the Commission on Appointments, until I was removed from the Cabinet. My enemies posted that evil victory, but until now they do not stop. When I started leading the presidential surveys, they paid for a diabolic media blitz against me. Thus, the second chapter of my life should be entitled "The Empire Strikes Back. For life, I like theology, consists of the unceasing battle between good and evil. In the movie trilogy, the forces of good were called Jedi, while the forces I eat death threats for breakfast!
I have no doubt that, in the end, the forces of evil in Philippine politics will triumph. Thus, I promise you, the third chapter of our life together shall be entitled "The Return of the Jedi.
Louis University gymnasium in Baguio City, where over 5, students gave her a standing ovation, presaging her phenomenally popular A person suffering from lung cancer is prone to bleeding. How to tell if a politician is telling the truth: Whenever he looks at you straight in the eye, he might be telling the truth.
But when he opens his mouth, he is lying. Corrupt politician, nagyayabang: Ako ang tumulong sa mga businessmen na maging milyonaryo! Bakit, ano ba sila dati? Corrupt politician: I have realized why corrupt politicians do nothing to improve the quality of public school education. They are terrified of educated voters.
Ang sabi ng gobyerno: Alam ninyo kung bakit? Ayaw ng gobyerno ng competition. Hindi ba, ang mga gadget kapag nagloko, namamatay? Dapat ganyan din ang mga pulitikong manloloko, namamatay din! Ano ang resulta ng IQ exam ng mga kurakot na pulitiko? What is the difference between corruption in the U. In the U. In the Philippines, they go to the U. Corrupt official: Miriam, kapag natapos ang term ko, iiyak ka ba? Oo naman. Mapipigilan ko ba ang tears of joy? Pulitiko ka ba? Ang ganda kasi ng mga mata mo.
Corrupt nang corrupt. May mga kandidatong guilty ng trespassing. Wrong grammar. Premature campaigning ng mga epal politicians. Photo albums na panay mukha mo lang ang laman. Hindi porke bago ang hair-do mo, magpopost ka na ng IOO pictures ng sarili mo. Nakaka- offend kasi. Ilegal dapat ang pagmumukha niya. Bakit naka-schedule sa tag-init ang kampanya para sa eleksyon? Dahil dito napapatunayan kung anong klaseng pulitiko ang nangangampanya.
Kung matunaw sila sa init, ibig sabihin plastic sila. Kung masunog sila sa araw, ibig sabihin mapapel sila. Kung mahilig silang magbilad sa araw, malamang buwaya sila. Nauna ang presidente ng China. Ang tanong niya: Sumagot si God: Sabi niya: Pero kapag ang congressman Ano ang tawag kapag nagtapon ka ng basura sa dagat? Ano naman ang tawag kapag tinapon mo sa dagat ang mga pulitikong kurakot? Kapag hindi nanalo ang ine-endorso kong kandidato, para itong kape na walang creamer at There was a study on the connection between government employees and the sport they play.
Ang paboritong sport daw ng mga entry- level na government employees ay basketball. Kapag lower management position, paborito daw nila ay bowling. Kapag upper management naman, paborito daw nila ay tennis.
Ang paborito daw na sport ng mga high- level government officials ay golf. The study then made this conclusion: Kapag tumataas ang posisyon mo sa gobyerno, lumiliit ang iyong balls. Top three na pinakasinungaling na trabaho sa Pilipinas: Sasabihin nilang maganda ang customer kahit hindi naman talaga. Kundoktor ng jeep. Sasabihin nila na dalawa pa ang kasya kahit puno na. Dahil puno na ng kasamaan ang mundo, pinuntahan ng Diyos si Noah, na ngayon ay nakatira Inutos sa kanya ng Diyos: Pagkatapos ng anim na buwan, uulan at babaha ng apatnapung araw at gugunawin ko ang Nakita niya na walang arko si Noah.
Sabi ni Noah, "Pasensya na, Lord. Hindi ko po natapos ang arko. Iba na po ang panahon ngayon: Una, kailangan ko raw po ng building permit.
Sunod, nahirapan po akong makakuha ng kahoy na hindi galing sa illegal logging. Mahal po ang kuryente panggawa ng arko, hindi po ako makakuha ng discount sa Nahirapan po akong makakuha ng environmental permit sa DENR dahil sa mga endangered species na dadalhin ko. Pinapa-lifestyle check po ako ng BIR, dapat daw magbayad ako ng buwis. Hindi rin po ako makakuha ng funding sa Congress, hindi raw nila gusto yung NGO ko. Patawad po, Lord. Hindi ko po natapos ang arko sa loob ng anim na buwan.
Sumagot si Lord: Naunahan na ako ng gobyerno. The place where a woman sells herself is called a house of ill-repute or a brothel. The place where a man sells himself is called the House of Representatives. Ano ang pinagkaiba ng holdaper sa pulitiko? Ang holdaper magnanakaw muna bago tatakbo.
Ang pulitiko tatakbo muna bago magnanakaw. One of these corrupt politicians went for a job interview and the recruitment manager said: Malaking problema ito. Ibig sabihin 75 percent ay hindi umiinom ng gamot. May isang pulitiko na lumapit sa isang psychiatrist.
Ang sabi niya: Tuwing nakakatanggap po ako ng pork barrel, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko na nakawin ito. Nagi-guilty po ako at nade-depress nang malala at matagal dahil dito. Sumagot ang pulitiko: Gusto kong tulungan ninyo ako para hindi na ako ma-guilty at ma-depress. Sabi ng pari sa kanyang sermon, "Magbigay ka sa simbahan ng ayon sa kabutihan ng iyong loob. Nakita ito ng pari. Tinawag ng pari ang I received a text message that said: He is our enemy.
Love, Batman and Robin pulitiko.
Ang sabi ng pari, "ito ang sukli mo, 99 pesos. On recent corruption scandals in government. May tatlong doktor, pinag-uusapan kung anong pasyente ang pinakamadaling operahan. Sabi ng una: Everything inside them is color-coded. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order. They have no brains, no guts, no hearts, and no balls. The paradigmatic teacher is one who inspires you to read on your own.
Oy ikaw, anong tinitingin, tingin, tingin, tingin, tingin, tingin mo diyan? Good news: Wala ka nang pimples! Bad news: Dahil wala nang space. What is the plural form of iced tea? Bottomless iced tea. What is the plural form of rice? Extra rice. Paano mo sasabihin sa kausap mo na maitim ang Ano ba ang ginagamit mong deodorant, Kiwi shoe polish?
Tandaan, sweet nga ang candy, pero nakabalot naman sa plastic. Paano mo sasabihin sa isang babae na mataba siya na hindi siya mababastos? Excuse me miss, Mang Tomas ba ang lotion m Ang homework ay parang panliligaw.
Sa bahay dapat ginagawa, hindi sa paaralan. Law school is quite easy. Pero Jurassic Park. Do you want a job where you get to travel a lot and have lots of money in your hands? Pwede kang konduktor ng bus. Condolence nga pala Sa mga taong patay na patay sa akin. Alam niyo ba kung bakit laging busy ang magaganda at mga guwapo?
Explain ko sa inyo mamaya. Busy pa ako e. Gusto kong maging nurse para makatulong sa kapwa. Ako, gusto kong maging doktor, para makapanggamot ng kapwa. Ako mayor, para mapagsilbihan ko ang kapwa ko. Gusto kong maging presidente para mapaglingkuran ko ang aking kapwa. Juan Tamad: Ako naman, gusto kong maging kapwa. Class, anong gusto niyong maging paglaki niyo?
Gusto kong maging piloto. Gusto kong maging teacher. Gusto kong maging mabuting ina. Gusto kong gawing ina si Maria. A true teacher does not terrorize ignorant Alam niyo ba ang alamat ng baboy? Minsan sa sobrang galit ko, sinuntok ko sa ilong ang isang elepante.
Hindi na lumaki ang mga anak nya. Sa kanya nag-umpisa ang kauna-unahang baboy. Aba, iha, kasing-ganda ng buhok mo! Parang bagong rebond. Bagsak na bagksak! Paano mo sasabihin sa kausap mong Uy ang kyut-lyut mo naman! Kamukhang- kamukha ka ng daddy mo! Sa isang examination Student: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh. Pagkatapos ng examination Okay, time is up. One, two, three.
Come your papers to me! Pagkatapos ng klase Teacher to students: Form a line and pass out slowly. Mention — Ang laki ng bahay nila, parang mention. Punctuation — Sabi ng isang bata, "Daddy, pasukan na next week. Kailangan ko po ng punctuation. Curtain and Kitchen — Aray! Huwag mo kong curtain. Subukan natin ang talino ninyo.
Should Santa Claus be considered a criminal? The answer is yes. He is Ano ang sabi ng anak na caterpillar sa tatay caterpillar? Wow, classmate, ang ganda naman ng ngipin mo! Para silang nag-eexam, one seat apart! Why do you think we should hire you? Kasi po bago pa lang po ako kaya wala pa po akong sungay. In English, please.
Now, translate it in Tagalog. Pedro, nahirapan ka ba sa questions sa exam? Hindi naman! Ang galing mo naman! Nahirapan ako sa answers! Lahat sila, namatay ng holiday! Madaling magkasakit ang mga sexy; ang mga crush ng bayan; ang ma-appeal at henyo; ang kind, thoughtful, smart, sweet, and malakas ang karisma.
Bigla yatang sumama ng pakiramdam ko, ah.
Hindi lahat ng nananalo ay magagaling dahil may nandadaya. Hindi lahat ng matalino ay mataas ang grades dahil may nangongopya. Hindi lahat ng artista ay sexy dahil di naman ako artista, sexy lang talaga. Gaano katalino ang estudyanteng Pilipino?
Common sense pa lang nila, IQ na ng ibang senator. Alam niyo ba ang alamat ng giraffe? Minsan sa sobrang galit ko, binigyan ko ng uppercut ang isang kabayo. Sa Ladies and gentlemen: I am happy, despite my chronic fatigue syndrome, to come to this campus of the Lyceum of the Philippines University at Batangas City.
I have several reasons for defying my doctors in coming here: In , CHED gave to Lyceum the highest award for a university — the award of autonomous status; In , the Philippine Association of Colleges and Universities cited Lyceum for the highest number of accredited programs in this region, and the second highest in the entire country; And most important of all — Lyceum Batangas rivals Metro Manila universities in terms of population — 9, students, who will be voters in the presidential and senatorial elections.
Hence, I have come in recognition of the fact that some of you will become senators like my good friend and mentor, Dr. Sotero H. And at least one of you, I predict, like President Jose P. Laurel, will someday become Leadership is defined as "a process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task. Consideration, which emphasizes good relations. A leader is friendly, approachable, and a Initiating structure, which stresses behaviour involved in directing the organization and helping it to define and achieve its goals.
From these two dimensions, we can conclude that a leader performs three basic functions: These functions are essential in the success of a leader. Transactional or managerial leadership is a leadership style that promotes Transactional leadership is an effective strategy for projects that must closely follow standards to succeed. Transactional leaders are also especially effective in times of crisis, such as the supertyphoon Yolanda.
Transactional leadership can be very effective in Good coaches of sports teams are transactional leaders. Sports teams operate within rules with very little flexibility, and adherence to organizational norms is the key to their success. Good coaches are able to motivate their team members to play and win. This leadership style stresses leading by example. This is the kind of leader whom we should elect in I call on the legendary courage of the Batanguenos to reject any leader involved in the PlO billion pork barrel scandal, and to reelect senators who are fighting to uphold justice among the suspects, despite efforts at black propaganda by the mastermind in the Senate of the plunder conspiracy.
We do not have to choose between these two kinds of leadership; instead we should use both of them.
The full range approach of leadership seeks to blend the best aspects of transactional and transformational leadership into one comprehensive approach. In this approach, the leader uses these techniques from transactional leaders: Aside from transactional and transformational leadership, there are other leadership perspectives, namely, moral leadership, servant leadership, shared leadership, and emotional leadership, among others.
Moral or ethical leadership focuses on how leaders use their social power in the decisions they make, actions they engage in, and ways they influence others. An effective leader Thus, a moral leader has moral influence over his or her followers.
Servant leadership is exercised when the leader is destined to work for people and the community. A servant leader looks at what people need and asks how to help people to solve problems. Shared leadership means that leadership is distributed within a team, and people within that Emotional leadership is a process that leaders use to influence their followers in a common goal.
Leaders in a positive mood can impact their group in a positive way. Charismatic leaders can transmit their emotions and influence followers through "emotional contagion. Leaders are not born; it takes practice to develop the qualities of a leader. Here are some ways to be a leader and develop leadership abilities: Become an officer of the glee club, the debate team, the student government, or your class.
Just step up! Play to your strengths. Get involved in something you are passionate about. Being a team player is also a valuable leadership skill. Sign up for more than one activity. Take time to You might find a hidden talent you never knew you had. Be involved in the larger community outside your campus. It shows that you care, that you are versatile, and that you want to make a difference.
Good student leaders share the following characteristics: Integrity is the foundation of leadership, and it is especially important for students trying to establish themselves as Leaders with integrity are trustworthy, honest, and able to consistently follow- through on their promises.
Compassion for others. A desire to help others succeed and a simple willingness to help others is the most genuine trait of a student leader. Showing you care motivates other students to follow your example. Student leaders step in when Student leaders are typically self- starters who push themselves to succeed.
Student leaders need to have a vision and a sense of purpose to accomplish things. The presidential elections will be a test As potential leaders of our country, you should practice as leaders by advising your respective communities about the pork barrel scandal in relation to the elections, as follows: The Supreme Court has declared pork barrel as unconstitutional. But during the time when pork I refer to those who are elected senators and representatives.
This sordid case of plunder in our political history is evidence that corruption is caused by a top-down process. Therefore, we should not reelect any senators or congressmen running for reelection in , if they Of course, every person enjoys a presumption of innocence. But when the Ombudsman conducts the preliminary investigation, she goes over voluminous papers and other documents, as well as affidavits executed by eyewitnesses.
She has to do this, because under the law, the Ombudsman who is the prosecutor in this case, has to prove what the law calls a prima facie case. The term prima facie is a Latin phrase which means at first sight, or on first appearance, but subject to further evidence or information.
Hence, if the Ombudsman files a case against a reelectionist for plunder in the Sandiganbayan, this means that she has in her possession enough evidence to allow the trial court While all this investigation is going on, particularly on television when the Blue Ribbon Committee conducts hearings and examines alleged witnesses, you will notice that certain politicians and other members of the high and mighty in society are conspicuous by their silence.
Politicians who purposely refrain from participating in the national debate on the pork barrel scandal are politicians who are cowards, because they refuse to take This kind of cowardice is anathema to leadership. Hence, in conclusion, I urge you to go back to your community, and advise your relatives and neighbors to reject politicians who are consistently silent on the pork barrel scandal.
Silence means that the particular politician is willing to make friends with anybody, right or wrong, corrupt or honest, as This is the mantra of the unprincipled person. In other words, that candidate is an opportunist. He does not act out of conviction, but acts out of what is convenient for himself.
This is the test I want you to apply, as the elections approach. Apply the test of leadership among the candidates. In my view, leadership is the courage to take risks in defense of a position that is both legal and The politician who tries to become a wise guy by becoming friends to everybody — corrupt or not — is not a leader. That kind of a politician does not deserve to be invited to the Lyceum of the Philippines University.
That kind of politician I abhor at first sight, and that kind of crook I will fight to the death, even if he has all the money and power in our country; and even if he can afford to pay an entire army of I will take my courage from you people — the great, the good, the very brave Batanguenos A survey was conducted to find out what is the first thing men look at when a beautiful woman passes by.
Men are like horoscopes, they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. A smart wife is one who makes sure she spends so What is the punishment for bigamy? Two wives. It is very important that you should choose the person you will marry and stay with that person. There are many people now who believe in serial love, loving one person after another.
I think we should get it over with. You only get it once I am very happy to say that is what happened to me. I am completely immune to any temptation. All men who have passed my life after I got married might as well have been sticks of furniture. I only tell lies to my husband. When I got married, I noticed immediately that there seems to be a rivalry between the egos of two people. If you are in a relationship, stop trying to figure out who wears the pants between the two of you.
Relationships work best when both of you are not